Men -

Why were men given larger brains than dogs?

1) So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
2) So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.

What does the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Titanic have in common?


They both look good until they hit the ice.

Bank Crisis Hits Japan


Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock Bank in the U.K., financial uncertainty has now hit Japan.

In the last seven days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after prices nose-dived. Also today, Cherry Blossom Financial Services is reported to be in the pits.

While Samurai Bank are soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank are reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.

Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop, and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the
Driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab,
Nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just
Inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the
Cab, and then the still shaking driver said, 'I'm sorry,
But you scared the daylights out of me.'

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver
And said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder
Could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, 'No, no, I'm sorry,
it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a
Cab...I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.'

This is more wisdom then a joke

Never hold a fart in , as it travels up your spine lodges in your brain and causes shitty ideas

Al, Bill & Hillary in Heaven

Al Gore and Bill and Hillary Clinton go to heaven, and God addresses Al first. ''Al, what do you believe in?''
Al replies: "Well, I believe that I won that election, but that it was your will that I did not serve. I've come to understand that now.''

God thinks for a second and says: "Very good. Come and sit at my left.''

God then addresses Bill. "Bill, what do you believe in?''

Bill Replies: "I believe in forgiveness. I've sinned, but I've never held a grudge against my fellow man, and I hope no grudges are held against me.''

God thinks for a second and says: "You are forgiven, my son. Come and sit at my right.''

Then God addresses Hillary. "Hillary, what do you believe in?''

She replies: "I believe you're in my chair."